It's not been a good few months for me.
Something has gone terribly wrong with my health, both mentally and physically. I am so confused and frustrated and angry and lost and helpless. It's not even close to being funny, regardless of how much I try and joke about this situation. And it feels like my health is getting worse, and my doctor(s) seem unconcerned by it.
I currently have no energy, it takes me a while to recover from even minimal exercise, muscle pains, joint pains (noisy too!), shaky arms hands, stiff neck, headache/migraine, pain/pressure on nerve under cheekbone, facial twitching, abdominal pain, heart palpatations, chest pain, and more. Tons of tests have been run on me. All have come back normal.
So they've diagnosed me with somatic symptom disorder, anxiety, and possibly depression.
Somatic symptom disorder is basically a way of saying, "We can't find any cause for your symptoms, and thus an emotional problem must be causing the physical symptoms, and you're worrying too much about it." It's an unscientific diagnosis and a dangerous one: There's this story of a woman who died because she had lung cancer but was misdiagnosed as having somatic symptom disorder. "While I was both anxious and depressed, this was due to the increasingly disabling symptoms that my doctor kept insisting were purely psychological."
I don't know if I have somatic symptom disorder, but it feels like a cop-out. And defintely not something a family doctor should diagnose.
I do have anxiety. But that's brand new.
From I read, it's rare for someone over 40 to suddenly develop anxiety unless they have depression or a physical ailment that causes anxiety. I ended up in the ER three times because of chest and arm pains. All heart tests were fine. And for the ER, that's enough to send you home. Saw my primary doctor as soon as I could, but he was no help. I eventually asked some online doctors, one of which suggested it was all anxiety. Primary doctor gave me a short test and said I scored pretty high. Of course I did, I was defintely anxious about the physical symptoms I was having!
I'm defintely open to the idea that anxiety is causing a lot of my symptoms. Checking out this (exhaustive) list of physical symptoms of anxiety, nearly every symptom I've had is on there, except an elevated tempurature and an extremely bad reaction to antibiotics. So I'm working on treating my anxiety, with meditation, deep breathing, dark chocolate, and a Xanax if it gets bad.
"Many of the anxiety disorders can be traced to childhood, adolescence, or early adulthood. Therefore, be suspicious of symptoms that emerge later in life." Anxiety is also a symptom of some medical conditions: Hormonal problems, infectious diseases, vitamin/mineral deficiencies (B12 and magnesium in particular), environmental toxins, drug use/withdrawl, tumors, and Wilson's disease.
I don't think I have depression. Neither did my psychologist. But when I told my primary doctor that I was having crying episodes similar to psuedobulbar affect (crying uncontrollably without the emotion to cause it), he immediately offered to prescribe me Celexa
I'm mainly writing this to clear my mind, not so much for sympathy. I do appreciate talking with people, as my close friends and family are all too aware. I just need to stop thinking about it so much and see if that helps me get better.
What do I think I have? Since my symptoms began a few days after visiting a lake with a large tick poulation, it's possible I have some tick-borne diease. But that's a whole other can of worms.